It's funny how I feel the cracks and the holes, the broken parts of my heart, slowly starting to fill themselves in. It's not necessarily because of one person but rather a group of relationships fostering a community in which laughter and hard work go hand in hand. I am no longer encompassed with all that is wrong with me. No, I am instead surrounded by encouragement and friendship. No one is asking me to change and I am not asking myself to.
I think I am changing. I am becoming so much happier with myself and who I am. But, it's not for someone else. It's for me. And whether I change or not, it doesn't matter, because whatever I am doing with myself, it is for me.
My team is amazing. I have not laughed so hard in quite some time. It's been a long time coming, and I am ready to have fun. To ache with joy for these people who I will spend the next 9.5 months with. We are going to have problems, but we are a family, we will get through them. And we will laugh about them later.
Yesterday we worked all day--the first half planting 70 trees in a beautiful park, the second half working at a local zoo/animal sanctuary. It was great to go home afterwards, knowing I had worked my butt off and I had made a difference. I can come back to Sacramento in 20 years and those trees I planted, they will probably still be there, providing much-needed shade. So, not only am I meeting amazing people who are filling up my heart, but I am doing service, which has always had that effect on me. What a great combination, right?
I am feeling oh-so-thankful that I am able to participate in this program at this point in my life. It could not have come at a better time, and I could not be happier to be here.